There are sing-alongs and plays behind curtains made of beach towels or sheets.
There are high-heeled shoes on too small feet and long dresses on bodies not nearly developed enough to fill them out right.
“Dad, you’re stepping on my hem!” Wendy cries.
“Dad, are you gonna sit down and watch our play?” asks Maria. “It’s Snow White!”
Drummond sighs inwardly and tries very hard not to roll his eyes. He sits in the appropriate chair, hands Maria his ticket and waits for the play to unfold.
But, before it can start, Kara comes busting through the curtain, knocking it down and crying, “YEEHAW!”
“Kara!” Maria and Wendy shriek at the top of their lungs.
“We’re having a play and you’re wrecking it!” Maria declares.
Kara only throws a laugh over her shoulder as she races for the back door and the neighbor boys who are waiting outside.
Drummond, remaining silent, waits patiently for Wendy and Maria to hang the curtain up and get situated. It takes probably ten minutes because, of course, the curtain has to be just right. No peeking, they tell him!
The play begins and he watches as Snow White meets the dwarfs (their dolls) and then the evil step-mother (a picture glued on a stick) gets the girl to eat a poisoned apple. And, of course, there is much arguing because Wendy forgot to enter stage left when the dolls are racing to save Snow White.
And then the Prince (Wendy) kisses Snow White (Maria) awake and soon Drummond is clapping as the girls curtsy.
“Is that it?” Drummond asks. “Y’all are done, right?”
“Here is your ticket to Cinderella!” Wendy announces.
Drummond takes it with a forced smile and rushes hastily into his bedroom. He finds M’Lynn standing at their bathroom door, with a special glow in her cheeks.
“I’m pregnant!” she cries.
(He did not pass out. He just said with a smile, “That’s great.” But I’m certain he was cussing a blue streak in his head. Because, of course, it was going to be a girl.)